WEEKLY COLUMN:
JDM vs the WORLD

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FINE PRINT

Here’s a double standard for you. Remember how people complained after the tsunami Christmas weekend that George Bush was too slow to speak out and express his condolences? Well, how come it’s been more than 24 hours since Bush’s inauguration and no foreign leaders have expressed their condolences yet? Instead, all we get are funny-funny-ha-ha headlines in the British tabloids. “Bush: Have I Got Nukes For You,” reads the Star. Remind me to hate England from now on.

For what it’s worth, I never understood the Bush/tsunami thing anyway. Why were people so anxious to hear him speak about it? You mean to tell me you needed to hear him in order to know what he’d say? He was going to say the same thing every president in American history would’ve said. America is sorry. America stands with you. Etc. There wasn’t much room for surprises here. He wasn’t going to come out and say, “Yeah, you know what? We’re glad it happened. Our God is better than your God.” But that’s how people were acting. Why are we so concerned with getting the president’s opinion about stuff? “George, what do you think about the tsunami?” “George, how much money should I put in my 401(k)?” “George, does this look infected to you?” Enough already. Stop asking stupid questions. Ask someone who gives a shit. Like your mom.

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